Tag: personal growth

Goal Setting vs Goal Achieving

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

Dan John makes an important distinction between goal setting and goal achieving. Setting a goal can feel like daydreaming. 

Achieving a goal is more like solving a puzzle. 

You start with what you already have—your genetics, where you live, your circumstances—and then you do the work to find the solution.

One of the tools he uses is called the 5/2 plan. Ask yourself these five questions about your future:

  • What do you want in two decades?
  • In two years?
  • In two months?
  • Tomorrow?
  • Today?

If those questions feel overwhelming, you can also start with the opposite. Instead of asking what you want, ask what you don’t want. 

Dan John has a term for this that I’ve renamed for this newsletter: Reverse Goals. The idea is simple. When you catch yourself doing something that does not serve you, the lesson is, I am not going to do that again.

This is how we avoid being pulled into the latest fitness fad or quick-fix promise. 

Instead, we keep coming back to the fundamentals, the same way we return to basics in Kung Fu and Tai Chi:

  • Eat the right amount for your body each day.
  • Get enough protein to support recovery and strength.
  • Train with weights 2–3 times a week, just as we train our forms.
  • Walk more (I aim for 10,000 steps a day).
  • Sleep enough so the body and mind can recharge.

Add flossing and a yearly check-up, and you have a strong foundation. Not fancy, but it works.

This week, take a moment to answer those five questions for yourself. Then, choose one simple habit from the list above and give it your focus. 

Daydreams turn into progress when we put them into practice.

See you in training,

Sifu Oscar

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals.
Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Use Your Strengths

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

Do you know what your strengths are?

Not just what you’re good at- but what energizes you.
What puts you in the zone. What makes time fly.
What you’d do again, even if no one was watching. 

 

Your Strengths Are Your Responsibility

Those strengths? They’re not accidents. They’re assignments. 

Your gifts were given to be used.

They’re not just strengths—they’re responsibilities. Our purpose in life is tied to how we contribute them.

 

Why It Matters:

Too often, we obsess over our flaws. But that voice that says “you’re not good enough” is not new.

It’s not helpful. And honestly, it’s kind of boring. 

Your strengths are more interesting.
They speak to who you are and who you’re becoming.

 Strengths aren’t just what you’re good at.They’re the things that energize and strengthen you—even if you’re not good at them… yet.


What To Do:

  • Focus on the activities that you want to do again (hopefully Kung Fu or Tai Chi!).
  • Don’t confuse talent with passion. 
  • Forget the external “adornments”—titles, —and focus on the activity itself.
  • Practice what you love. Your appetite will lead you to mastery.

And remember: nothing great is done alone.

Your strengths grow stronger in community. That’s what we’re building here at Wah Lum.

Keep practicing. Keep contributing. Keep becoming who you’re meant to be.

Control Corner 25 from Sifu Oscar: The Mirror of Mastery

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

At Wah Lum, the flipped Chinese character for ‘Fire’ reminds us that control is the key to mastering life’s challenges. Welcome to the Control Corner, where we share weekly wisdom to help you unlock your potential.

Essentials: Mastery begins with self-awareness. In West with the Night, author Beryl Markham reflects on how we spend our lives studying others while often remaining strangers to ourselves. As a pilot, alone in the vast night sky, she discovered the power of self-observation—an essential skill in both life and martial arts.

Why It Matters: True progress isn’t just about watching and learning from others; it’s about turning that focus inward. In martial arts, we often want to rush to advanced techniques, but true skill comes from refining the basics with patience and awareness. Just as Markham had to master small skills before flying solo, every stance, every movement, every breath is an opportunity for deeper understanding.

What’s Next: This week, be your own observer. Set aside time to train alone, focusing on the fundamentals with fresh eyes. What do you discover when you’re fully present with yourself? Mastery isn’t just about learning more—it’s about seeing more in what you already know.

Here is a small excerpt from the book West with the Night by Beryl Markham that inspired this post. 

“You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself. You learn to watch other people, but you never watch yourself because you strive against loneliness. 

If you read a book, or shuffle a deck of cards, or care for a dog, you are avoiding yourself. The abhorrence of loneliness is as natural as wanting to live at all. If it were otherwise, men would never have bothered to make an alphabet, not to have fashioned words out of what were only animal sounds, not to have crossed continents – each man to see what the other looked like. 

Being alone in an aeroplane for even so short a time as a night and a day, irrevocably alone, with nothing to observe but your instruments and your own hands in semi-darkness, nothing to contemplate but the size of your small courage, nothing to wonder about but the beliefs, the faces, and the hopes rooted in your mind – such an experience can be as startling as the first awareness of a stranger walking by your side at night. You are the stranger.”

Control Corner 23 with Sifu Oscar: The Power of Thinking

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

Welcome to the Control Corner, your weekly dose of wisdom on mastering control in martial arts, health, and life. At Wah Lum, the flipped Chinese character for ‘Fire’ represents control—an idea central to everything we do. 

Let’s explore how focusing on what matters can help you reach your full potential.

Essentials: Throughout history, deep thinking has powered successful people. It’s not about thinking more, but thinking better. Taking just a moment to reflect—whether through Kung Fu, Tai Chi, reading, or time in nature—can unlock insights that shape your path.

Why It Matters: When you pause and truly listen to yourself, you gain clarity about your goals, your challenges, and your aspirations. The strongest traditions, the ones that have stood the test of time, are the ones that encourage deeper thinking. Success isn’t just about working harder—it’s also about thinking just a bit deeper.

What’s Next: In today’s world, focus is the new IQ. Those who cultivate the ability to concentrate without distraction will thrive. Give yourself space to think—slow down during forms, focus on your breath, or take a mindful moment after training.

As Bruce Lee said, “To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are.” The more you cultivate thoughtful awareness, the more you’ll see old ideas in new ways—and that’s where true growth happens.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Control Corner 21 with Sifu Oscar: Mastering Distraction

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Control Corner, where we explore the art of control – whether in martial arts, health, or life. At Wah Lum, the Chinese Character for “Fire” is flipped upside down to symbolize Control, a philosophy also woven into the Control Your Health logo. 

Each week, we’ll share insights to help you focus on what matters and unlock your full potential. Enjoy!

Essentials: Are you sacrificing the important on the altar of the immediate? Distractions often pull us away from our true goals, but the good news is that we can reclaim control. While there are many things we can’t influence, we can shape our beliefs, behaviors, and focus to align with what truly matters.

Legendary coach John Wooden said it best: “Be quick, but don’t hurry. Always be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Focus on what you can control. You can’t control what other people will think of you, but you can control who you are and how you turn out as a human being.”

Why It Matters: Motivation comes from making choices that remind us we are in control. When we assert ourselves—whether by setting a boundary or taking purposeful action—we activate the part of our mind that drives self-motivation. It’s all about the locus of control: internal (believing we have power) vs. external (feeling powerless). 

Teaching yourself to embrace control fosters confidence and propels growth.

What’s Next: Ask yourself: Who are you at your core? What is essential to you? Gandhi spoke of “reducing oneself to zero,” letting go of who we aren’t so we can fully embody who we’re meant to be. Self-knowledge and authenticity are your greatest tools.

Remember, you are a work in progress, and that’s a good thing. The world needs you to fulfill your purpose. Focus on becoming who you’re meant to be—you matter to those who depend on you.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Control Corner 20 from Sifu Oscar: Breaking Free From the Addiction to Problems

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

Welcome back to the Control Corner! Each week, we explore the philosophy of control—rooted in Wah Lum’s flipped ‘Fire’ character—and how it applies to martial arts, health, and life. Ready to take charge? Let’s begin!

Essentials: What’s the biggest addiction in the world? It’s not food or opiates—it’s problems. Problems allow us to justify our worth, even when we doubt ourselves. They give us excuses: “It’s not my fault, I have (enter diagnosis here)” or “I can’t because of this.” The question is, how are your problems meeting your needs?

Here’s the truth: Fear feeds these illusions. But most of what you fear isn’t real. You are far more powerful than anything fear throws your way. As the saying goes, “You get what you tolerate in life.”

Why It Matters: Controlling Your Health isn’t just about physical fitness. It’s about empowerment—the opposite of being stuck in excuses or letting problems define your path. True fitness is the ability to tackle any task and expand your life in ways you didn’t expect.

Don’t get trapped in the either/or mindset. Life isn’t about finding the answer; it’s about trusting in simple, logical truths and taking steps forward.

What’s Next: Take a moment to reflect on the fears or excuses holding you back. Are they real, or are they illusions? Define the goal you’re working toward—and recognize that the journey will elevate all areas of your life.

There are people ready to help, and your first step is simple: Stop tolerating what holds you back. Step into empowerment, face the fear, and trust in your ability to create change.

Control your mindset, and you’ll control your future.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Control Corner 19 from Sifu Oscar: Smart People on Mastering Your Mind, Mastering Your Life

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

Control your thoughts, your health, your path. Welcome to the Control Corner, where we draw on Wah Lum’s teachings—embodied by the flipped ‘Fire’ character—to share weekly insights for mastering life’s challenges.

Essentials: Our thoughts are powerful—so much so that controlling them can shape the course of our lives. 

Almost 700 years ago, poet Rumi revealed the power of self-reflection: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” 

Charles Darwin expanded on this idea, reminding us: “The highest stage of moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.”

Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl took it even further, saying: “The last human freedom is the ability to control our own thoughts.”

Why It Matters: True control begins with the mind. Whether it’s in martial arts, health, or daily life, the way we think determines the way we act. 

American Weightlifting legend, Tommy Kono captures it perfectly: “True fitness, in body, mind, and soul, comes from realizing that our own thoughts, our own wills, dominate our decision-making process.” 

By managing your thoughts, you’re laying the foundation for better choices and a more purposeful life.

What’s Next: Pay attention to the narrative running through your mind. Are your thoughts building you up or holding you back? Take small moments to pause, reflect, and redirect. 

Start with your breath, just like in our warmups—it’s the perfect anchor to refocus and regain clarity. Control your thoughts, and you’ll find yourself controlling your path.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Control Corner 16 from Sifu Oscar: The Power of Self-Awareness

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

The flipped ‘Fire’ character at Wah Lum isn’t just a symbol—it’s a reminder that control transforms lives. Welcome to the Control Corner, where we share practical insights each week to help you focus and unlock your potential.

Essentials: Control begins with self-awareness- knowing who you are, owning it, and embracing both your strengths and shortcomings. True control isn’t about perfection; it’s about honesty. 

Why It Matters: When you stop chasing a romanticized version of yourself, accept what you don’t excel at, and lean into what makes you great, everything changes. Execution matters more than ideas, and self-awareness gives you the clarity to move forward with purpose. Accepting yourself isn’t just liberating; it’s your strongest play.  

What’s Next: Reflect on your strengths. What do you do better than most? Where do you struggle? Be honest. Create an environment where you – and others – can speak the truth without fear. Use that truth to fuel your next move.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Control Corner 14 from Sifu Oscar: Mastering the Tools, Not Being One

Oscar AgramonteSifu Oscar's Blog

At Wah Lum, the flipped ‘Fire’ character represents control—a powerful philosophy woven into our practice and teachings. Welcome to this week’s Control Corner, where we explore ways to focus on what matters and grow in martial arts, health, and life.

Essentials: Jim Kwik in his book Limitless compares technology to fire: a tool that can either cook your food or burn your house down, depending on how you use it. Tools like fire—and technology—are neither inherently good nor bad. The key is conscious control. Without it, you risk becoming the tool, rather than the master.

Why It Matters: In a world filled with distractions, it’s easy to let technology take over. Notifications, endless scrolling, and digital noise can consume our time and energy. Control isn’t about avoiding technology; it’s about setting boundaries and using it purposefully. Think of it as mastering your Kung Fu and Tai Chi skills – you decide how to wield it for good.

What’s Next: This week, take inventory of your digital habits. Are they serving your goals, or are they pulling you off course? Try setting time limits on apps or dedicating tech-free zones in your day. Remember, control is about using tools to empower, not enslave.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.

Control Corner 13 from Sifu Oscar: Kindling the Fire Within

Oscar AgramonteSifu Mimi's Blog

This is the Control Corner, where every week we dive into Wah Lum’s philosophy of control—symbolized by the flipped ‘Fire’ character—and apply it to health, martial arts, and living your best life. Ready to take control? Let’s get started!

Essentials: In Greek mythology, Prometheus gave fire to humanity, a symbol of knowledge, power, and transformation. Plutarch built on this idea, saying, “The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.” These metaphors remind us that true growth isn’t about passively receiving information but actively nurturing curiosity, creativity, and self-mastery.

Why It Matters: Fire represents potential and power, but without control, it can burn out or cause destruction. In martial arts and life, cultivating your inner fire—your passion, focus, and drive—requires the discipline to direct it purposefully. Control isn’t about suppressing your fire but fueling it wisely so it burns bright and steady.

What’s Next: This week, think about your own fire. What sparks your curiosity or drives your goals? How can you stoke it with intention? Start by learning something new or challenging yourself in your practice—kindle your fire and watch it illuminate your path forward.

 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are ways we can help you get started.

1. Schedule a time to observe a class.
Interested in Kung Fu or Tai Chi?  First step is to watch a class and see if we would be a good fit! Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for an appointment.

2. Become part of my exclusive Coaching Group with CYH Remote Coaching.  Get personalized coaching delivered right to your phone and catered to your specific goals. Email: kungfu@wahlum.com for info.